1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,000 [blender whirring] 2 00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:14,417 What are you doing? 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,375 Making hummus. 4 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,292 For breakfast? 5 00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:20,333 Uh, no, just generally to have hummus. 6 00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:22,542 I like to, uh… have some hummus around. 7 00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:24,583 Sometimes friends come around and demand hummus. 8 00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:26,417 But we could have hummus for breakfast. 9 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,500 -It's a good idea-- -What time did you get up? 10 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,458 Uh… I couldn't really sleep. 11 00:00:30,958 --> 00:00:32,625 So you've been making hummus all night? 12 00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:34,292 Uh… No. I got home late. 13 00:00:34,792 --> 00:00:36,042 Whoo, this is a lot of hummus. 14 00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:38,125 I'm always surprised that hummus is so good for you. 15 00:00:38,208 --> 00:00:40,167 Chickpeas taste too good to be good for you. 16 00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,083 It's-It's so nice when things work out that way. 17 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,750 I can't really think of many things that are good for you, 18 00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:46,750 but they… they taste like they're bad for you… 19 00:00:47,542 --> 00:00:48,667 Maybe Kefir? 20 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:51,750 What's going on? 21 00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:53,542 Nothing. Nothing's going on. 22 00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:54,750 Something's going on. 23 00:00:56,250 --> 00:01:00,375 Maybe we should talk about this, uh… when I'm not so tired. 24 00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:03,083 So there is something wrong? 25 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 What? 26 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,167 Tell me. 27 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:09,250 [kitchenware thuds] 28 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,417 [exhales] 29 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,750 Is it something I did? 30 00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:16,833 -No. -What? 31 00:01:16,917 --> 00:01:18,333 [inhales deeply] 32 00:01:19,958 --> 00:01:21,000 I talked to your mother. 33 00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:23,542 Oh, my God, are we doing that again? What did she say? 34 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,083 She said she would never be okay with this. 35 00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,458 Yeah, we know that. She's made that pretty clear. 36 00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:30,667 That-That is a shame. But this relationship is ours, not hers. 37 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,833 And there is always a chance that she'll get over it. 38 00:01:32,917 --> 00:01:34,833 I promised her that I would break up with you. 39 00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:38,542 Excuse me? 40 00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:41,375 She begged me, and I-I couldn't say no. 41 00:01:43,417 --> 00:01:44,583 [chuckles] 42 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,375 Begging. [chuckles] 43 00:01:46,458 --> 00:01:48,000 Oh, right. Yeah. 44 00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:50,583 I-I mean who can say no to begging? 45 00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:53,333 Don't be such a coward, Steve! Grow up! 46 00:01:57,292 --> 00:01:58,292 [sighs] 47 00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:02,250 Izzy, Izzy I don't want to break up with you. I-I don't know what else to do. 48 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,125 That's all right. I'm just gonna go. 49 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,750 Oh, you should call my mother and tell her. She'll be so relieved. 50 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:08,167 I'm just trying to be a good guy here. 51 00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:10,583 Don't you dare make it like you're doing this for me! 52 00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:12,250 You know what's so sad, Steve? 53 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,792 I am a hot 26 year old with a brain. 54 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:17,542 I am excellent at dancing and sex. 55 00:02:17,625 --> 00:02:19,375 And I'm likely to make a pretty good income. 56 00:02:19,458 --> 00:02:21,458 And I only liked you because you were so sweet. 57 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,375 You were just… Yeah. 58 00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:25,833 Like… I-I chose you because you were safe. 59 00:02:25,917 --> 00:02:29,417 But turns out, you're not safe at all. 60 00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:32,542 You are never gonna find anyone as good as me. 61 00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:34,750 Ever. Ever. 62 00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:36,625 Ever. 63 00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:38,708 Okay? 64 00:02:39,833 --> 00:02:40,833 Bye. 65 00:02:44,292 --> 00:02:47,208 [door opens, closes] 66 00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:04,375 [phone ringing] 67 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:10,250 Hey. How's it… How's it going? 68 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:11,833 How could you? 69 00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:15,208 I trusted you, Steve. You were my… 70 00:03:15,292 --> 00:03:17,292 -What's happened? -I thought we were friends. 71 00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:20,167 The papers have printed a story saying I shat myself. 72 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,458 -I've… [stammers] I've never told anyone. -Bollocks! 73 00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:25,042 Of course it was you! You were the only person who knew! 74 00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:28,792 Anyway, I'm just calling to say I will no longer require your services. 75 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:33,542 And you should know I've called everyone and told them you aren't to be trusted. 76 00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:36,083 -So good luck having no clients… -Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 77 00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,542 …and no job. 78 00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:38,792 -[Steve groans] -Goodbye, Steve. 79 00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:40,958 -Oh, no. Bye. -[busy signal beeping] 80 00:03:47,833 --> 00:03:49,958 All my friends hate the tabloids. 81 00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:52,375 So who do you know that reads that shit, Steve? 82 00:03:52,958 --> 00:03:54,958 Really hope you enjoy each other. 83 00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:06,792 Oh, shit! No, no, no. Oh, shit. 84 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,083 -[phone ringing] -Oh, for… 85 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,625 Hello? 86 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,250 I understand. 87 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,250 -[phone rings] -H… H… Hello. 88 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,417 Okay, I understand. 89 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,250 -[phone rings] -Uh, hello. 90 00:04:21,083 --> 00:04:22,917 Uh-huh. [stammers] 91 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000 Oh, God. 92 00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:26,917 [Steve] I'm sorry to hear that. Uh… Yes, I understand. I understand. 93 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,583 No, no, I-I understand. Just one more question. 94 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:32,000 Will you still need me to style you for the music video? 95 00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,292 [busy signal beeps] 96 00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:35,625 [sighs] 97 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:38,750 {\an8}[phone buzzing] 98 00:04:42,917 --> 00:04:44,500 You have destroyed my life. 99 00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:46,583 I hope you're happy now. 100 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:57,583 Can it… Can it just say, "I'm so sorry. We can fix this. 101 00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:03,625 It was a silly moment of anger, and I really regret it. 102 00:05:05,583 --> 00:05:10,375 But we both did… [sighs] …something we shouldn't have done and…" 103 00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:12,000 [florist] Yeah, that won't fit on the card. 104 00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:13,083 [sighs] 105 00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:19,083 Okay, just "sorry" then. Thank you. 106 00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:24,167 [Steve] "Sorry then, thank you"? 107 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,750 "Sorry then, thank you"? 108 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,042 What the fuck are you thanking me for? 109 00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:33,000 We're going to ruin her, aren't we boy? 110 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,417 Yes, that's right. 111 00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:37,500 We're going to take everything she has. 112 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,375 She doesn't know how fucked she is. 113 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,042 No, that's right. 114 00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:45,792 No, she's really fucked. 115 00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:47,750 She's fucked. 116 00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:53,750 Okay, well, it's, um… Um, it's been real, Dan. 117 00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:55,625 Call me. 118 00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:02,000 [chuckles] 119 00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:04,625 [phone ringing] 120 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,208 [sighs] 121 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:09,667 Hey, Steve. 122 00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:11,000 Where are you? 123 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,083 I'm here. 124 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,042 [Daniel] Steve told me everything. 125 00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:22,583 [stammers] What everything? No, there-there-there is no everything-- 126 00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:24,750 I've taken your side through all of this, Alice. 127 00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:26,542 I've listened to your whining for weeks. 128 00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:30,000 -Poor me. I'm sad, how could he? -Why are you being so mean? 129 00:06:30,083 --> 00:06:32,333 Because I always presumed you were honest with me. 130 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:34,750 I am… I am honest. 131 00:06:34,833 --> 00:06:36,500 [chuckles] No, you're not. 132 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:42,375 Steve told me about the time my mum was in town and she got sick. 133 00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:45,000 And you said you couldn't make it to the hospital 134 00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:46,417 because your conference had run over. 135 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,167 But it wasn't your conference, was it, Alice? 136 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:51,750 It was because you and Steve had done edibles in Sevenoaks 137 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:53,792 and were too paranoid to go outside. 138 00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:55,417 Well, I didn't know she was gonna get sick-- 139 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,333 And that it was actually you and not Dom who broke my flute. 140 00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:02,750 And that the 2,000 pounds you said you'd given to Pakistani flood relief, 141 00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:05,875 you actually spent on Botox and filler. 142 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,458 It was my money. And… [stammers] 143 00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:09,750 I didn't get filler. 144 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,375 Those are normal lies. 145 00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:17,167 There are no normal lies, Alice! I don't lie to you. 146 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,542 How am I supposed to love you if I don't even know who you are? 147 00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:21,833 What do you mean how are you supposed to love me? 148 00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:30,458 I think we should spend some time apart. 149 00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:34,625 What? 150 00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:47,125 Where will you go? 151 00:07:49,042 --> 00:07:50,625 I won't go anywhere, Alice. 152 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,750 You will. 153 00:07:58,083 --> 00:08:02,083 And on that happy note, have a good week. 154 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,917 And if you have any problems with the essays, 155 00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:06,792 figure it out yourselves. 156 00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:15,625 [Janis] Thought you'd be more upset? 157 00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:17,292 Sorry? 158 00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:19,417 I thought you'd be more upset when we broke up. 159 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,500 Most people are upset when I break up with them. 160 00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:25,958 I broke up with you because I thought you were too needy, 161 00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:28,625 but it turns out you didn't need me at all. 162 00:08:31,958 --> 00:08:33,833 I'm impressed, tiger. 163 00:08:35,292 --> 00:08:37,792 Right, well, sorry to disappoint you, Janis. 164 00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:39,875 Turns out I am totally fine on my own. 165 00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:41,792 I always knew you were a tiger. 166 00:08:42,958 --> 00:08:44,667 I miss you. Mmm? 167 00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:48,958 I want us to go back out and I think you want it too. 168 00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:51,792 [scoffs] Wow. So now that I don't need you, 169 00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:54,208 -you want to go back out with me again? -Yes. 170 00:08:54,292 --> 00:08:57,833 No way. I don't want or need anyone. 171 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,958 [resident] My father was from Bury St Edmunds. 172 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,542 Have you ever been to Bury St Edmunds? 173 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,417 No. 174 00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,458 Oh. 175 00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,583 What a shame. 176 00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:19,167 Mm-mmm. 177 00:09:26,417 --> 00:09:28,417 [snoring] 178 00:09:37,833 --> 00:09:39,833 [Alice] Okay, so you're not picking up. 179 00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:44,875 I'm just calling to say that you shouldn't have spoken to Daniel, Steve. 180 00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:47,958 You need to remember who started this. 181 00:09:48,042 --> 00:09:51,667 You did. You slept with my daughter, remember? 182 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,917 And now you've really crossed the line. 183 00:09:54,542 --> 00:09:55,833 You're going down. 184 00:09:57,375 --> 00:09:58,375 Goodbye. 185 00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:01,167 [doorbell rings] 186 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,333 [Alice] Hi, Nancy! 187 00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:06,417 What's wrong with him? 188 00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:08,250 Nothing. 189 00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:11,625 I-I just… I wanted to, uh, just come by and say-- 190 00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:14,875 Why are you here, Alice? I've not seen you since Steve and I got divorced. 191 00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,917 [scoffs] Um… 192 00:10:19,292 --> 00:10:20,500 [sighs] 193 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,708 Sorry, Nancy. Now… Now is not a good time. 194 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,542 Well, I've come to take Crosby 'cause Alice told me what you did. 195 00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:29,708 Wh-What are you talking about? 196 00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:31,958 She told me that the dog ate cocaine. 197 00:10:32,042 --> 00:10:34,458 And I've been speaking to a lawyer, and they'll never let you keep him. 198 00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:35,625 It was Alice's cocaine-- 199 00:10:35,708 --> 00:10:37,667 It doesn't matter whose cocaine it was, Steve! 200 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,875 The point is, you were looking after him and he nearly died. 201 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:41,167 [whispering] Please don't. 202 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,542 [normal voice] Please don't take Crosby. Crosby's all I have left. 203 00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,208 Please don't do this, Nancy. 204 00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:49,583 Well, you can keep him today. 205 00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:54,542 But I'll be back tomorrow. And after that, you'll never see him again. Ever. 206 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,583 Bye! 207 00:11:02,042 --> 00:11:03,125 [phone chimes] 208 00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:12,250 Oh, fuck you, asshole! [stammers] Fuck you! 209 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,333 Look. 210 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:15,750 Not you. 211 00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:18,625 No, I can't see without my glasses. 212 00:11:20,292 --> 00:11:21,542 [phone chimes] 213 00:11:30,458 --> 00:11:31,458 [humming] 214 00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,667 -[whispering] Alice! Alice! -Oh. 215 00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:38,625 Um… She's looking for you. She seems really upset about something. 216 00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:40,583 -[sighs] -[Alex] Alice. 217 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,083 May I have a word? 218 00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:50,583 Can you explain this? 219 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:51,708 [clears throat] 220 00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:57,167 Wasabay. 221 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,583 [mumbles] 222 00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:02,667 Mugabe. 223 00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:06,958 Mugabe. Mugabe. 224 00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:09,542 Mugabe. Mugabe. Mugabe. 225 00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,083 [chuckles] 226 00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:12,375 [chokes] 227 00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:18,500 I-I know who sent that to you. He has a vendetta against me. 228 00:12:18,583 --> 00:12:22,000 I-I never do drugs, anymore. None. I'm basically teetotal-- 229 00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:24,250 I'm not talking about the drugs, Alice. 230 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:26,833 I'm talking about the fact that this is racist. 231 00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:29,250 Sorry? 232 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:30,708 You're saying the name, "Mugabe". 233 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,958 It's an African name. You're mocking an African name. 234 00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:37,625 Oh, no. No, no, no. No, I'm s… 235 00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:41,042 No, I'm saying, um… 236 00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:44,208 You know words that… [chuckles] …just sounded funny. 237 00:12:44,292 --> 00:12:45,583 Not that the name is funny. 238 00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,417 I-I-I would never. 239 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,042 I'm obviously just… I'm very high. 240 00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:51,042 You think that helps your case? 241 00:12:52,417 --> 00:12:58,625 I'm afraid with this and with your recent outbursts about girls and their hoo-has, 242 00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:02,000 it's put us in a very difficult position. 243 00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:08,917 I will love you forever, Crosby. 244 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,333 You've taught me everything that I know about love. 245 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,875 I'm sorry I let you down. 246 00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:16,042 [Nancy] You know they don't speak English, don't you? 247 00:13:18,958 --> 00:13:20,625 -[sniffles, groans] -[Crosby whining] 248 00:13:22,958 --> 00:13:24,500 -Look after him for me. -Yeah. 249 00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:27,375 No more cocaine for you, Crosby. [chuckles] 250 00:13:32,708 --> 00:13:34,250 -[sniffles] -[engine starts] 251 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,667 [sighs] 252 00:14:19,917 --> 00:14:21,958 [sniffles] Uh… Shall we talk about it? 253 00:14:24,792 --> 00:14:26,083 What? 254 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:27,292 Me and your mother. 255 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:30,042 Um… 256 00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:32,542 No, we don't need to. 257 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,583 Marriage is complicated. 258 00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:39,542 -Um… -[doorbell rings] 259 00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:41,833 -[stammers] -[knocking on door] 260 00:14:41,917 --> 00:14:42,917 [Steve] Izzy! 261 00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:44,833 I'm sorry. 262 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,917 I made a huge mistake. 263 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,583 And I regretted it, as soon as I said it. 264 00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:53,583 You are the best thing to ever happen to me. 265 00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:55,625 I will do whatever it takes… 266 00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:57,292 -I think we should-- -No, no, don't, Dom. 267 00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:58,375 -[Steve] I'm sorry. -Dom. 268 00:14:58,458 --> 00:14:59,542 [Dom] I'm-- I'm going to. 269 00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:02,833 [Steve] Please forgive me. 270 00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:06,875 She's at Zuli's. 271 00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:08,667 Oh. 272 00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,208 Thanks, man. 273 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,875 Okay, I'm rehydrated. 274 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:26,417 Shall we go again? 275 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,833 What did you miss about me? 276 00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,875 You want compliments? 277 00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:33,958 Okay. 278 00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:37,792 I missed 279 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,500 your dancing in the mornings. 280 00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:42,583 [Izzy] Mm-hmm. 281 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:45,417 I missed arguing with you about whether people should keep dogs, 282 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,625 even though people should definitely not keep dogs 283 00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:49,583 because it's servitude imprisonment. 284 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,958 I missed your al dente T-shirt. 285 00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:56,292 -Mmm. -I missed your armpit. 286 00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:58,250 [Izzy chuckles] 287 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:01,083 I missed your neck. 288 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,125 I thought you said you were done with all men 289 00:16:08,208 --> 00:16:10,917 and that you found them to be meaningless sacks of cum. 290 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,667 I do. 291 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:15,000 So, why are you having sex with Janis? 292 00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:19,167 Because I am a free agent. 293 00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:22,833 I can do what I want with my body. It's empowering. 294 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,750 Okay. 295 00:16:25,292 --> 00:16:27,792 Okay. You're not just going from one man to the other? 296 00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:31,292 From Janis to Steve and back to Janis? 297 00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:33,083 [clicks tongue] No. 298 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,875 I am the master of my destiny. 299 00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:38,208 [chuckles] Is that what we're calling it? 300 00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:41,000 -[Izzy chuckles] -[knocks on door] 301 00:16:48,417 --> 00:16:50,667 Hey. Um… Is Izzy here? 302 00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:53,708 -[Zuli] Um… -I heard she was here. 303 00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:57,000 Uh… 304 00:16:58,583 --> 00:16:59,792 Is… Is she? 305 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:01,417 Um… 306 00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:04,667 [smacks lips] One sec. 307 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:10,042 Are you here? 308 00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:13,708 Yeah, okay. 309 00:17:14,542 --> 00:17:15,792 She's not here. 310 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:18,333 Okay. Well, 311 00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,667 can you tell her, um… that I'm sorry 312 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:25,125 and that I made a stupid decision because I was afraid. 313 00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:28,417 Um… It's like she said, I was a coward. 314 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,708 She called me a coward. You don't need to know the whole backstory but… 315 00:17:31,792 --> 00:17:32,958 -Hmm. -[Steve] And, um… 316 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:40,542 Can you tell her that if… if she gives me another chance, 317 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:42,917 I won't make the same mistake again. 318 00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,458 God, there's a lot. Shall I write it down? 319 00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:49,500 Just tell her… tell her… [sighs] 320 00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:53,167 …tell her that I love her. 321 00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:56,000 I love her. 322 00:17:59,417 --> 00:18:01,542 Yeah. Yeah. Sure. 323 00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:02,625 Oh, and, uh… 324 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:05,875 give her that. 325 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000 Thank you, Steve. 326 00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:14,667 It's hers. She left it at my house, it's not a gift. 327 00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,750 Oh. 328 00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:17,750 -[Zuli] Yeah. -Thank you, Julie. 329 00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:19,083 -I'm Zuli. -Zuli. 330 00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:23,792 [sighs] 331 00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:33,708 No husband and no job. 332 00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:38,875 Well, I suppose the bright side is at least you get your Freedom Pass soon. 333 00:18:38,958 --> 00:18:40,208 Ten years isn't soon. 334 00:18:40,292 --> 00:18:42,833 -Seven years. -And I have a husband. 335 00:18:42,917 --> 00:18:44,583 Yeah, but for how long? 336 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,875 I wouldn't let him get too used to being on his own if I were you. 337 00:18:48,958 --> 00:18:50,750 He might grow to like it. 338 00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:54,792 And it's not like people are queuing up to go out with 50-year-olds, are they? 339 00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:56,750 No. 340 00:18:57,958 --> 00:19:03,542 You-You're an older, unemployed woman, hurtling towards old age. 341 00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:07,625 I mean, at this point you've got to think, what's in it for him? 342 00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:11,833 If you don't get him back fast, he might go elsewhere. 343 00:19:19,167 --> 00:19:20,833 -Come on, we'll cheer you up. -Sorry. 344 00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:21,917 Let's play a game. 345 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,208 -Okay. So… -Yeah. 346 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:25,750 …if you had to have sex with someone at this bar, who would it be? 347 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,333 And not me obviously. 348 00:19:30,917 --> 00:19:35,250 But seriously, if your life depended on having sex with someone at this bar, 349 00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:37,250 who would it be? 350 00:19:40,208 --> 00:19:42,083 Uh… Why does my life depend on it? 351 00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:43,333 It's Armageddon. 352 00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:46,667 If you don't have sex with one of these people, 353 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,542 the, um… whole planet will die, 354 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:51,750 and you'll be responsible for eight billion deaths. 355 00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:57,167 Don't want that. [chuckles] 356 00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:00,292 Um… 357 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,292 It'd be the lady with the red hair. 358 00:20:10,917 --> 00:20:11,917 Okay. 359 00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:15,583 Why her? 360 00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:19,375 Because she looks bossy, and I wouldn't have to think too much. 361 00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:24,375 You, um… You should try taking control for once. 362 00:20:25,042 --> 00:20:27,375 I think that, um… there's a chance you might like it. 363 00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:32,167 I have an idea. 364 00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,208 Come on. 365 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:35,958 Where are we going? 366 00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:06,250 No, I can't do it. 367 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,583 Why not? I'm not gonna judge you. 368 00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,167 It's just words, Dan. 369 00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:12,042 What is it that makes you so uncomfortable? 370 00:21:12,125 --> 00:21:14,167 Sex is sex. It's like… 371 00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,000 It's like tennis, you're just naked. 372 00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:19,167 And wanting things doesn't make you a bad person. 373 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:22,750 Tell me, what's your fantasy? I want to help you open up. 374 00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:24,542 [sighs] 375 00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:28,917 [Daniel] I can't. I… 376 00:21:29,458 --> 00:21:30,458 All right. 377 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:32,458 Okay, I'll go. 378 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:36,000 Okay. [chuckles] Um… 379 00:21:40,292 --> 00:21:41,292 So, 380 00:21:42,292 --> 00:21:44,750 it's a warm summer's day, 381 00:21:45,792 --> 00:21:50,458 and I'm on Wembley football pitch. 382 00:21:52,375 --> 00:21:56,333 I've been tied onto the goalposts just in front of the net. 383 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,000 I'm sort of floating. 384 00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:05,625 It feels like my legs are being held like… like wide apart. 385 00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:07,792 Pickford's holding me up from behind, 386 00:22:09,042 --> 00:22:12,917 and the rest of them are lined up, each waiting for their turn. 387 00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:15,292 First up 388 00:22:16,917 --> 00:22:18,583 is little Phil Foden. 389 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,417 Little dirty scrapper. 390 00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:32,458 Grabs his hands into my buttocks and then plunges his surprisingly wide c… 391 00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:40,708 …behind him I can see Maguire smirking… 392 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:46,500 …and Stones gets this look in his eye, like he's… 393 00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:48,625 [adult contemporary music playing] 394 00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:53,000 [gasps] 395 00:22:53,083 --> 00:22:54,083 Oh, uh, w… 396 00:22:54,167 --> 00:22:57,125 ♪ He's got a way about him ♪ 397 00:22:57,208 --> 00:22:59,375 -[chuckles] -Uh… 398 00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:01,542 ♪ I don't know what it is ♪ 399 00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:06,083 ♪ But I know That I can't live without him ♪ 400 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,167 -Alice--- -No, let me. 401 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:10,917 ♪ He's got a way of pleasing ♪ 402 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,000 [sniffles] 403 00:23:12,542 --> 00:23:14,625 ♪ I don't know what it is ♪ 404 00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:18,708 ♪ But there doesn't have to be a reason ♪ 405 00:23:18,792 --> 00:23:20,667 -Alice, please stop-- -♪ Anyway ♪ 406 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:21,750 [chuckles] 407 00:23:23,542 --> 00:23:27,750 ♪ He's got a smile that heals me ♪ 408 00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:31,292 ♪ I don't know why it is ♪ 409 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:36,208 ♪ But I have to laugh when he reveals me ♪ 410 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:40,542 ♪ He's got a way of showing ♪ 411 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:42,500 -Hi. -[gasps] 412 00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:45,458 Who the f-f-fuck are you? 413 00:23:45,542 --> 00:23:48,667 -I should probably go. -Sorry, who is that? 414 00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:50,417 -A friend. -You don't have any friends. 415 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:52,042 -Why is she here? -[Daniel] I invited her. 416 00:23:52,125 --> 00:23:53,750 -Well, I'll see you at work. -All right. 417 00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:56,750 -Nice to meet you, Alice. -Yep. 418 00:23:58,125 --> 00:23:59,125 [music stops] 419 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:02,708 Are you sleeping with her? 420 00:24:02,792 --> 00:24:03,792 No. 421 00:24:06,833 --> 00:24:08,375 Do you want to sleep with her? 422 00:24:08,458 --> 00:24:09,458 No. 423 00:24:15,958 --> 00:24:17,333 Do you not love me anymore? 424 00:24:21,958 --> 00:24:23,833 I don't think I love you enough. 425 00:24:26,958 --> 00:24:27,958 Ooh. 426 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000 [clears throat] 427 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,542 I-I don't think you love me enough either. 428 00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:36,958 [breathes shakily] 429 00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:38,042 I do. 430 00:24:38,542 --> 00:24:39,958 [chuckles] 431 00:24:40,042 --> 00:24:41,250 I should be your priority. 432 00:24:41,333 --> 00:24:43,250 -You are. -No, I'm not. 433 00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:45,833 You're your priority. 434 00:24:45,917 --> 00:24:47,417 And you should be yours. 435 00:24:48,458 --> 00:24:51,208 I'm not responsible for your life, Daniel. You are. 436 00:24:51,708 --> 00:24:54,875 I-If you're not happy, then fix it. 437 00:24:54,958 --> 00:24:58,958 Make yourself happy. But I-I-I have never not loved you. 438 00:24:59,042 --> 00:25:02,167 And I… I just… I love myself a tiny bit more, and that's normal. 439 00:25:02,875 --> 00:25:05,792 I don't believe it when people say they'd take a bullet for you. It's bullshit. 440 00:25:05,875 --> 00:25:08,167 You… [stammers] Survival's in our bones. 441 00:25:09,417 --> 00:25:10,875 Steve shouldn't be a priority. 442 00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:22,958 He-He was one of my priorities. 443 00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:29,667 You and me, we can't be everything to each other. 444 00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:31,583 Why not? 445 00:25:33,250 --> 00:25:36,375 You can't be totally nourished by one person. 446 00:25:36,458 --> 00:25:38,042 It-It-It doesn't work that way. 447 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,625 What can't you get from me? 448 00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:53,583 You're not joyful, Daniel. And sometimes I need joy. 449 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,333 Maybe that's the problem. I-I get my joy from you. 450 00:26:00,792 --> 00:26:02,542 [stutters] Well, that's because I'm joyful. 451 00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:04,167 [chuckles] 452 00:26:04,833 --> 00:26:07,625 But I'm not necessarily, um, kind. 453 00:26:09,125 --> 00:26:10,625 We all have our different skills. 454 00:26:17,125 --> 00:26:18,542 I'm not sure I'm happy. 455 00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:25,042 Oh. Uh, okay. I didn't… I didn't know that. 456 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,833 Maybe we should talk about this another time when I'm not so drunk. 457 00:26:31,917 --> 00:26:33,458 You got drunk without me? 458 00:26:37,625 --> 00:26:38,958 -Goodnight, Alice. -Goodnight. 459 00:26:44,458 --> 00:26:46,958 [sobbing] 460 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,083 [scoffs] 461 00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:06,042 [grunts] 462 00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:08,625 [grunts] 463 00:27:10,333 --> 00:27:11,375 [Alice] Fuck off! 464 00:27:20,083 --> 00:27:22,083 [phone ringing] 465 00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:26,167 Hello. 466 00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:28,125 Yeah, that's me. 467 00:27:31,458 --> 00:27:33,583 I only came in 'cause I was constipated. 468 00:27:34,625 --> 00:27:35,917 Should I be worried? [chuckles] 469 00:27:55,792 --> 00:27:56,792 Hi. 470 00:27:57,292 --> 00:27:58,333 Hi. 471 00:27:59,792 --> 00:28:01,208 You broke up with me. 472 00:28:01,292 --> 00:28:04,042 Yeah. 'Cause I'm an idiot. I'm really sorry. 473 00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:06,250 What are you sorry for? 474 00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:07,667 -I'm sorry for being weak. -Mmm. 475 00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:09,458 I'm sorry for not listening to my heart. 476 00:28:10,875 --> 00:28:12,458 Anything else? 477 00:28:12,542 --> 00:28:14,083 For going on about hummus? 478 00:28:15,333 --> 00:28:17,708 For prioritising my mum over us. 479 00:28:17,792 --> 00:28:18,792 Yeah. 480 00:28:20,125 --> 00:28:21,125 For that. 481 00:28:22,208 --> 00:28:23,958 Are you ever gonna do that again? 482 00:28:25,542 --> 00:28:26,625 No. Never. 483 00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:31,167 I've never liked anyone the way I like you. 484 00:28:33,292 --> 00:28:34,500 I'm really sorry. 485 00:28:36,167 --> 00:28:37,458 I'm sorry too. 486 00:28:37,542 --> 00:28:39,167 You have nothing to apologise for. 487 00:28:44,625 --> 00:28:45,667 I've got cancer. 488 00:28:46,167 --> 00:28:47,458 What? 489 00:28:47,542 --> 00:28:49,875 I had a blood test, and they want me to come in. 490 00:28:50,583 --> 00:28:52,083 So, uh, might not be cancer. 491 00:28:52,167 --> 00:28:54,250 What? It could literally be anything? 492 00:28:55,375 --> 00:28:59,375 [stutters] Yeah, but I'm dramatic. 493 00:28:59,458 --> 00:29:01,917 When do… When do they want you to go in? 494 00:29:03,375 --> 00:29:04,375 Now. 495 00:29:04,958 --> 00:29:07,833 Okay. So, um… because these are test results, 496 00:29:07,917 --> 00:29:11,458 I just wanted to ask if you want to receive these results in private? 497 00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:14,250 Uh, no, no. I want him to be here. 498 00:29:14,333 --> 00:29:17,583 Okay. And, um, are you Izzy's father? 499 00:29:17,667 --> 00:29:20,667 -Oh. Uh, no, no, no. No. -No. No. He's my boyfriend. 500 00:29:21,250 --> 00:29:22,833 Okay. Great. Right. 501 00:29:22,917 --> 00:29:25,708 Okay, then. Um… Well, um… 502 00:29:26,208 --> 00:29:27,917 Blood results all came back good. 503 00:29:28,583 --> 00:29:32,625 Um, but we did find a fairly sizable hormone differential. 504 00:29:32,708 --> 00:29:37,000 So we tested again, and it turns out that you are pregnant. 505 00:29:42,042 --> 00:29:43,042 Sorry? 506 00:29:43,542 --> 00:29:44,625 You're pregnant. 507 00:29:44,708 --> 00:29:47,083 ["Oh Shit" playing] 508 00:29:49,417 --> 00:29:51,667 -♪ Oh, shit ♪ -♪ Oh, shit ♪ 509 00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:53,292 ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 510 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:55,167 ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 511 00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:58,083 -♪ No ♪ -♪ Oh, shit ♪ 512 00:29:58,667 --> 00:30:00,500 ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 513 00:30:00,583 --> 00:30:02,458 ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 514 00:30:03,292 --> 00:30:05,375 -♪ Oh, shit ♪ -♪ Oh, shit ♪ 515 00:30:05,458 --> 00:30:06,833 ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 516 00:30:06,917 --> 00:30:08,292 -♪ Oh, shit ♪ -♪ Shit ♪ 517 00:30:08,375 --> 00:30:10,292 -♪ Oh, shit ♪ -♪ Oh, shit ♪ 518 00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:11,667 ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 519 00:30:11,750 --> 00:30:14,792 ♪ Oh, little Sally Walker Sittin' in a saucer ♪ 520 00:30:14,875 --> 00:30:16,792 ♪ Oh, how I tossed that ass up ♪ 521 00:30:16,875 --> 00:30:19,625 ♪ Like a mission in the woods Woody Woodpecker would if he could ♪ 522 00:30:19,708 --> 00:30:21,625 ♪ But I didn't want to pass it up ♪ 523 00:30:21,708 --> 00:30:23,333 ♪ To the next man Had my Walkman bumpin' on ♪